Young men are falling behind, at school and at work, and the stats on drug overdoses and death by suicide are sobering. Not unlike other mothers of sons, I’ve keenly observed the raging “masculinity” debate, to ensure my own sons aren’t undone by their own sense of being treated unfairly. We’re used to seeing males in positions of power so there’s often not a lot of empathy for the struggles of young men.
Mega-influencers — Scott Galloway, New York University professor and host of The Prof G Pod, and Jordan Peterson, Canadian-born psychologist and author — describe the manosphere, making sure we understand how even the nicest guys can be susceptible to the seductions of social media driven poison.
But what really caused my head to spin was an essay published last month by political and cultural thinker and writer Rod Dreher, and a longtime personal friend of J.D. Vance, titled “The Radical Right is Coming for Your Sons,” where he makes the case for why ignoring the bigots in our midst is perilous, for both the left and right.
Chui Yang and Mitch Murray are card-carrying conservative, post-secondary students in Calgary, and I’m grateful they are open to meeting at the University of Calgary campus for an on-the-record conversation about these unnerving questions.
Mitch, 19, is a first-year finance major at Mount Royal University who aspires to study and work abroad, and Chui, 20, just completed year three of a history/poli sci degree and aims to get into government relations in support of Alberta’s oil and gas sector.
“I’ve had to take a couple people out of the rabbit hole,” Mitch says, even the anti-Jewish rabbit hole (and Mitch is Jewish). What’s his strategy? “Asking questions: Why do you believe this; where do the ideas come from; do you believe this is something you’ve actually formed yourself or is it something you’ve seen online?” This approach, suggests Mitch, seems to free up critical thinking and forces people to question their ideas.
Showing up for the interview in a black suit and a tie, Mitch immediately strikes me as a serious young man. He knows males of his demographic who are being pushed right, and he sees racists and extremists lurking in the social media shadows.
“Mount Royal especially is a very progressive school,” Mitch reports, “and there are a lot of conservative young men on campus, but they’re not necessarily out there with their political opinions.”
Because progressives have such negative connotations about conservatism on campus, Mitch explains, he seizes opportunities to sit down with people of different political persuasions, to explain, “we are not the demons that you see us as.” He insists, believing in fiscal responsibility and conservative values, “doesn’t make me racist; doesn’t make me sexist.”
Chui’s take is slightly different; “I seldom encounter someone who has been corrupted by the ‘manosphere’,” he says with a grin, “and when I do encounter them, it’s more a fad than anything. After a few months, after a season, it’s over; they’re back to normal.”
As for the radical right coming for our sons, Chui acknowledges the growth in young men’s affiliation with the conservative movement but sees this as pragmatic, rather than ideological. Young people who can’t make ends meet, he says, “are choosing to put their faith in a party that historically runs on economic integrity, runs on fiscal responsibility.”
It’s all part of a cycle, he suggests; there was a spike in young men’s support for conservatives in the Mulroney era, and again with the rise of the Reform Party. “It is a cycle that keeps on happening over and over, and I don’t believe social issues have any play within it. Amongst my friends, social issues are not at the forefront of our minds.”
At 6-foot-3, Chui towers over me, cutting an imposing figure in his wide leg jeans and suede jacket. His experience as a Christian street preacher may have shaped him into the most patient 20-year-old I’ve ever encountered.
‘Don’t fret too much,’ is Chui’s primary message (as a mother worried about boys, I’m somewhat comforted); however, his experience door-knocking — most recently, in the Olds-Didsbury-Three Hills constituency on behalf of United Conservative Party MLA Tara Sawyer — sends me reeling.
“At the doors,” Chui shares, “when I do encounter a conservative and the question comes up, ‘would you like a lawn sign?’, it is often, more times than not, a ‘no.’ And almost every single time, it is due to the fact they don’t want their neighbours to know they are conservative because of the weight that carries.”
“You’re talking about rural Alberta?” I ask, incredulously.
“You would expect to have almost every single house welcoming a lawn sign with open arms,” Chui answers, “but that’s far from the truth.
“A lot of the people you encounter at these doors are centrists, and they cast ballots with their pocketbooks,” he explains. “They want fiscal responsibility and that takes precedence over social issues… things like trans rights, things like homosexual rights, social safety nets.”
They feel disenfranchised and are looking for change, he concludes, “but when you take up that lawn sign, what does that say to your neighbour? That you’re a ‘racist’.”
Somewhat dumbstruck, I wade into the murky waters of DEI quotas and cancel culture. “Would you like to see wokeness dialled back at your school?” I ask.
“It’s almost like the ‘he who shall not be named’, Voldemort question, among my circles at least,” Chui quips. “It’s not even spoken about. We almost pretend they (DEI quotas) don’t exist and just carry on.”
With its rainbow flags, rainbow crosswalk and posters everywhere, “DEI is very, very fundamentally rooted into the Mount Royal (University) culture,” Mitch answers. While it may be a great idea, at his school, he says it’s unrealistic to think about shutting down the whole DEI ideology. “What we need to do, to lean into that direction,” he offers, “is foster a sense it’s OK to have different opinions.”
“Guilt has allowed this to perpetrate,” Chui observes, “and that has almost created a world of absolutes where you’re either for or against. And it’s almost painful to live in because you’re gagged.”
“So you silence yourselves?” I say. They both nod.
It’s a difficult question, Chui reflects, and one he’s discussed with a guy from Alberta’s Republican Party, who, he reports, “believes the only way you can fight for change … if you’re backed up to the wall, is show you’re willing to punch them in the face.”
Chui doesn’t believe this is the “proper sentiment” because then the pendulum goes back and forth, and “you have people disenfranchised on either side, time and time again.”
“It’s going to be a long fight,” he says, “if you want to be cordial. But I think it’s the right fight.”
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