One of the most stressful parts of planning a first date is trying to pick the perfect place. Do you stay traditional and take them to dinner and a movie? Be more adventurous and choose somewhere unexpected and exciting? What if you choose the wrong place and ruin your shot before you even have a chance?
According to a new study, published in Collabra, you can rest easily. When it comes to a first date, location doesn’t really matter at all – it’s all about the conversation.
“It’s not necessarily the environment where the interaction is taking place that makes the biggest difference, but rather the quality of the interaction and conversation,” said Daisi Brand, corresponding author of the study from the University of Georgia, in a press release. “It might not be how comfortable the space and physical surroundings are, but really how comfortable you make the other person feel.”
Date Conversation Over Location
To find out whether location really matters when getting to know someone for the first time, researchers randomly matched 200 participants into pairs. These pairs were then split into two groups: one group that went on a first date in a nice location and the other that spent their first date in a lackluster location. The nice location included comfy furniture and mood-appropriate lighting, while the plain location had hard, wooden chairs and was full of junk.
Once placed in these locations, participants used the Fast-Friends Paradigm, a set of 36 questions aimed at enhancing one’s ability to get to know someone.
Researchers found that the pairs successfully and deeply connected with one another, regardless of their location. Even after a month had passed, participants from both first date locations reported still having fond feelings for their date partner and for the experience as a whole.
“I think the reason that we didn’t find differences between these settings is because of the meaningful conversations that were happening in both spaces. Participants reported knowing that they weren’t in an appealing setting, but they still felt close or romantically attracted to the other person,” said Brand in the press release.
The only difference recorded between the two locations was that pairs in the nicer location had the urge to get to know their partner better afterwards, both emotionally and physically.
Read More: The Key Ingredients to Healthy Romantic Relationships
How to Have the Best First Date, According to Science
The study shows that stressing out about the location of a first date should be low on your priority list.
Instead, focus on these things to ensure the best chance of a lasting connection:
- Openness and vulnerability will help make your date partner feel more comfortable than any fancy location.
- Ask meaningful questions to learn more about your date and allow them to open up themselves.
- When asked questions yourself, focus on providing sincere answers that give people a glimpse into who you really are and what you value.
“Try to focus less on orchestrating the ‘perfect’ scenario and more on genuinely connecting with the person in front of you,” said Richard Slatcher, professor and adviser on the study, in the press release. “When two people really start engaging with each other, it seems that the surroundings take a back seat. You could have rose petals and candlelight or fluorescent lights and plain walls – it doesn’t matter that much if you’re both clicking.”
In the future, the research team hopes to continue learning what makes the perfect first date, and whether factors like room temperature and the type of food being served influences relationship success.
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