If you’ve ever had to organise a wedding, you’ll know how incredibly fraught it can be in the run up to the big day.
Do you have to invite an uncle you haven’t spoken to in ten years? Where do you seat that couple that recently broke up?
These are just some of the question many couples ask.
But as the bride-to-be, you can guarantee that your fiancé will be right beside you supporting the decisions you make together about your big day.
But one devastated father has sought advice on whether his daughter was right to call off her wedding after he revealed what his fiancé and family had asked of him.
“I have a daughter(27) who was with her boyfriend for 7 years and they got engaged not long ago (just a small party, not many guests),” he wrote.
“She always talks to me about how she loved him, how he always listens to he and he was made for her.
“I have agreed with her, since I found him to be a good natured man, he was kind and humble and was always respectful to our family.
“We’ve met his parents for dinner twice or thrice and they hit me as a little sexist, asking questions to my wife like “I don’t know why you’re working, isn’t that the husband’s job? It’s the mothers job to be taking care of the children”.
“Now that they wanted to make it more serious, they planned a marriage.
“Anyways we have been planning about the marriage, and one day her boyfriend comes to me and says that his parents want to talk to me.
“I was going to call my daughter too, but he said that she wasn’t allowed.
“I went with him and his parents started talking with me about DOWRY. I was confused and said that there was no dowry and in 2020 who even gives dowry??
“But boyfriend and his parents started lecturing me about how necessary it was and how my daughter would be a stay at home wife (my daughter has told me that she wants to continue her dreams so I don’t know what this is).
“Anyways they told me that I should give it a thought and told me not to tell my daughter for the time being.
“However I immediately told my daughter about it, and she started crying saying she didn’t know that her boyfriend was so sexist.
“She asked me what she could do now, and I told her that she wasn’t being forced and could cancel her marriage if she didn’t want it.
“Well, that is exactly what happened and now her boyfriend and his parents are calling me saying I took away the love of his life etc…
“On top of that, some of her friends (some were bridesmaids) said that I was a asshole for breaking up what would’ve been a “healthy marriage”.
“But it’s my daughter’s happiness that matters.”
After asking for advice on Reddit, hundreds of people reassured the dad that he didn’t make a mistake by telling his daughter the truth.
One person wrote: “Her friends suck. That wouldn’t have been a healthy marriage. It would have been a life of misery for OP’s daughter.
“Those aren’t real friends because no friend would ever encourage this kind of relationship.”
A second wrote: “God, that guy must have been a hell of a liar.
“Be with someone for 7 years, listening to her, hearing her talk about her dreams, encouraging, a great guy, all the while knowing he had no intention of letting her do any of that.
“Guess he finally let down his mask and Op’s daughter was able to run.”
A third reassured the dad – but expressed scepticism that the daughter had no idea about her partner.
They wrote: “You saved your daughter from a life of hell. Sorry she had to go through that though. I’m sure it was a shock to realize her ex and her almost-in-laws are misogynistic AH’s.
“Hope she’s doing okay. 7 years is a long time. How did this not ever come up before???”