During the pandemic, a lot of people were cut off from those that they love the most. This sense of isolation shifted our focus to whether or not we could get our needs met even when all alone. It’s no surprise that people wondered if all of their sexual needs are met by masturbating with the aid of porn or whether they might benefit from something a little bit more intimate, like sex chat. Let’s talk about how to meet your sexual needs and whether just using porn will cut it.
Why We Need Sex
Psychologists have a lot to say about why we need the things we need. The more needs you can take care of, the closer to “self-actualization” (which, in laymen’s terms, means meeting your potential) we become. If you look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the basic needs are food, water, sleep, and safety. But the next level of needs is intimate relationships and sex. It’s that important. If humans have food security and a roof over their heads, the next thing they typically look for is a sex partner and a group of close friends.
Why Porn May Not Fulfill All of Your Sexual Needs
The need for an orgasm and the need for sex is very different. If an orgasm conferred all the same benefits as sex does, no one would date. Indeed, no one would go to all the trouble of meeting someone, going on dates, and then being vulnerable with someone new if you could do all that with one hand in the privacy of your own home.
Orgasms, of course, have a host of health benefits, including better sleep, happier mood, more relaxation, improved immunity, increased heart health, and less risk of prostate cancer. But sex is different. Sex is a way to connect with someone else on a special level. Sometimes, it’s an emotional connection, and other times it’s purely physical. But sexual interaction with someone is always a social endeavor, so it meets more needs than masturbation does. Some psychologists say that the interaction that happens during sex is what gives our whole existence meaning. So, yeah, sex with someone else is pretty different from masturbation with porn.
However, keep in mind that ethical porn is excellent. It helps people reach orgasm quickly, and it’s great for arousal and sexual entertainment (yet, it’s not so great on the sex education front). Too much porn is a little bit like eating too much candy. It’s fun, but it’s not necessarily good for the health of your sex life. You can develop unrealistic ideas about how sex should look, sound, and feel. You can also create a reliance on a specific fantasy or activity that you have trouble climaxing without, which can be limiting for your sex life. So, having in-person sex is a good way to keep your sexual desires balanced.
How to Get Your Sexual Needs Met
It’s not always effective to get all of your sexual needs met with masturbation and porn. You leave out the social, intimate part of sex. And those needs are just as real as the need for an orgasm. However, you can still meet all of your sexual needs from the comfort of your own couch. Having a virtual interaction with someone will boost the social and intimate benefits you get from having sex.
Even if you don’t have in-person sex where you feel the touch of their skin, you can meet your sexual needs by having virtual sexual interaction. Some would argue that it’s not the same as sex, and they’re right. It’s not the same—but it’s more similar than many think. You communicate your sexual needs with someone else, you are both vulnerable, and you create a sexual memory together. Whether or not it’s casual, it’s certainly intimate, which means it will be more fulfilling than masturbation. In fact, this professional sex chat host talks about how she creates meaningful relationships with her clients:
So, if you want to find a more fulfilling way to meet your sexual needs, consider finding a stranger to sex chat with online. Just make sure you use a site that verifies everyone’s identity and protects your privacy.