DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD awesome sex with a colleague while my girlfriend was at work. I know it was wrong but I think I am falling for this woman.
I am 25 and my girlfriend is 23. We have been together for almost two years. She is a nurse and this particular night she was working a late shift.
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We had both been invited to a mutual friend’s 25th birthday dinner — this was before “the rule of six”. My girlfriend didn’t want me to miss out and insisted that I go without her.
At the end of the night I ended up talking to my work colleague. She is also friends with my mate who was holding the dinner.
She is 22. She’s tall and blonde with a lovely figure. We have only ever flirted at work before and it was all harmless fun.
I certainly didn’t think it would lead to us having sex.
The dinner was at a restaurant in town and her flat wasn’t far away so I walked her home.
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She invited me in for a drink when we got there. I had already had a shed load but I couldn’t refuse her offer. We sat down on the sofa and she put her hand on my leg and leaned over to kiss me. One thing led to another and we had hot sex.
We both agreed it was the best sex we have ever had. We keep meeting up and having sex in secret. I am really into her but she says she isn’t ready for a relationship. I am confused as I thought she was really into me too.
I feel guilty and I know it is wrong because I do love my girlfriend, but we don’t see that much of one another when she is on nights. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this but I think I would leave my girlfriend for my work colleague as I can’t stop thinking about her.
What should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t have them both, that’s for sure. Maybe your colleague has some feelings for you but she’s clear she doesn’t want a committed relationship right now.
You know that your girlfriend will be devastated and deeply hurt if she discovers what you are doing. She is being betrayed by someone she thought she could trust and rely on.
She is doing a tough and worthwhile job while you risk spreading corona-virus on top of cheating on her.
Meanwhile, you are doing nothing to resolve the issues in your relationship with your girlfriend, whom you say you love. If you are not happy with her, either end it or ask her to work with you to sort out the work issue.
Try to get your diaries better organ-ised together so you can share regular leisure time.
But if you end it with her, don’t jump straight into another relationship. It is always best to have some time out as a single guy.
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