The author of a dating self-help book who managed to date 15 men in 21 days has shared her tips for finding love on Tinder.
With a plethora of apps to cater for all preferences, there has never been a better opportunity to find a perfect match on a dating site.
But, after Netflix’s Tinder Swindler highlighted the danger of catfishing, and with an oversaturated market of interested singletons, sometimes it can be difficult to know where to start when swiping.
Now, Helen Chik, the author of Sex, Swipes and Other Stories – a book that details her struggles finding love online – has offered support to others looking for a modern romance.
Interviewed on the Kinda Sorta Dating podcast, Helen offered an insight into how she managed to cram in 15 dates in the short space of just three weeks while on a trip to New York.
“Time is the one thing you can’t get back, so that’s why I’m very big on time and efficiency,” she began, before setting out her habit of “pre-swiping”.
“Changing your location prior to arriving in the city, so you’re basically matching people in a city you’re not actually physically in, but you can do all the tedious small talk, banter, vibe checks, before you arrive,” she explained.
“Then pretty much the first or second night depending on how energetic you are and how far you’ve travelled, you can arrange the first date or catch up.
“It’s always nice because when you’re matching with people from a new city that you’re not really familiar with they will know where to go.”
As for the content of the messages themselves, Helen suggested that being open about priorities is crucial.
To this end, the serial dater described how she separated topics into two different lists; “need to know”, and “nice to know”.
The author has been divorced twice – and she explained that the different lists were helpful to determining how people would react to her status as a divorcee.
“People have different stances on this sort of stuff, some people are very traditional, some are much more open-minded, but at the end of the day you should give them the chance to decide,” she acknowledged.
“And it saves you both a lot of time if you do it before the first date rather than dropping the bombshell on the first date and then watching them squirm in their seats trying to work out if they’re okay with it.
On the other hand, Helen explained that the ‘nice to knows’ are “whatever the f**k you want it to be”, and consist of more lighthearted topics.
By introducing these lists to a conversation, Helen claimed that her chats with strangers became an interesting introduction that covered the important topics as well as allowing for some flirty comments.
“That was always a non-negotiable for me to reveal all of that before going on a date, and I feel like if everybody had that sort of transparency before they go on a date there’d be a lot less miscommunications,” she added.
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