Nuseirat refugee camp, Gaza Strip, Palestine – At al-Nuwairi Hill, the closest point in Nuseirat to the al-Rashid coastal road, Ansaf Khadra sits on the ground with her family for the second consecutive day, waiting to be allowed to return to her home, or whatever is left of it, in northern Gaza.
Ansaf, a mother of four, was one of thousands of displaced people in southern Gaza who immediately headed for al-Rashid on Sunday after the release of four Israeli captives as part of the Israel-Hamas ceasefire deal the day before.
The plan was to head to al-Rashid and try to get through Israel’s Netzarim checkpoint, then, beyond that, to Gaza’s north.
“I’ve been here since early morning with my husband and children,” Ansaf told Al Jazeera as she handed out sandwiches to her children sitting on the ground.
“Last night I prepared whatever belongings we could carry and left many things to make it easier to walk,” she added. “We couldn’t even wait a minute. We want to return to our land in the north immediately.”
The ceasefire deal, which began to be implemented on January 19 with the first exchange of Israeli captives and Palestinian prisoners, was supposed to allow for the return of displaced Palestinians from southern Gaza to the north after the second exchange of captives for prisoners, which took place on Saturday.
However, Israel forcibly blocked Palestinian civilians from approaching Netzarim on Sunday, firing on the crowds on at least three separate occasions, according to medical sources, and killing at least two Palestinians, according to al-Awda Hospital, where the casualties were received. At least nine people, including a child, were wounded.
Israel has insisted that another female captive, Arbel Yehud, should have been released on Saturday before Palestinians were allowed to return to their homes in the north.
The delay has left Palestinians here frustrated. Ahmed Abu Dan puffed on the remnants of his cigarette as he sat alongside his family.
“We’ve been through so much during this war,” the 55-year-old said. “When they told us we could return to the north, we were overjoyed, but Israel is intentionally souring our happiness by making us wait.”
Ahmed isn’t interested in the technicalities of the delay. His only concern is returning home to Gaza City’s Shujayea neighbourhood, away from the memories of 15 months of war and displacement.
“What’s another day or two?” he quipped with a laugh. “We’re staying here no matter what, until they let us through.”
Ahmed and his family packed up their tent as soon as the ceasefire began, gathering their essential belongings in preparation for the difficult journey back north.
The family has been displaced 11 times since the war began, Ahmed said, explaining that his health and mental state had deteriorated after enduring so many months living in tents. The experience means that, if he does make it back to the north, he has vowed never to leave again – even if the ceasefire fails and war breaks out again.
“We were forced to flee to supposedly safe areas, only to be targeted there as well,” Ahmed said. “I can’t wait to kiss Gaza City’s soil again.
“I miss my relatives and my home in Shujayea, even if partially destroyed. I miss my neighbourhood and everything there.”
What is left?
While the whole of the Gaza Strip, a coastal enclave only 41 kilometres (25 miles) long, has been bombarded by Israel during its war, the north has been particularly devastated.
Israel’s far-right settler movement has even pushed for the permanent ethnic cleansing of Palestinians and the establishment of illegal settlements in the region, the home of the enclave’s largest urban area before the war, Gaza City.
Vast swathes of northern Gaza now appear uninhabitable, but Ansaf has heard that her home, while severely damaged, is still standing.
“According to my neighbours, only one room and a bathroom in my house remain intact, but to me, that’s heaven compared to a life in displacement,” she said with a broad smile.
“I miss my home so much,” Ansaf added. “We had only lived there for nine months before the war started, and I hadn’t even finished furnishing it.”
Unlike Ansaf, Nada Awadallah has no information about the condition of her home in Gaza’s City’s Tal al-Hawa neighbourhood. What she does know is that the area around her home was a closed Israeli military zone, and was hard to access.
But that lack of information is not a confirmation that her home has been destroyed. And for Nada, that is enough to try and return.
“I can’t believe the day of return has finally come,” the 65-year-old said, tears welling in her eyes. “I’ll endure the exhaustion. I’ve been here since last night, sleeping on the street, and I’m ready to stay until we’re allowed through.”
Nada had fled with her family – five children and several grandchildren – from Tal al-Hawa early in the war, eventually settling in a tent in southern Gaza’s al-Mawasi. And all of those family members have decided, for now, to stay where they are.
“There was a debate among us about waiting longer before heading back, but I couldn’t wait any longer,” Nada said. “I told them I’d crawl if I had to. What matters is that I go back and check on my home.”
Returning to the rubble
Mahmoud Mohsen, a 57-year-old father of seven, visited his daughter’s grave in central Gaza’s Deir el-Balah cemetery before heading towards Netzarim.
Mahmoud’s daughter, along with her husband and three children, were killed in a bombing in Nuseirat in November 2023.
Originally from Beit Lahiya in northern Gaza, Mahmoud fled southwards to Rafah at the beginning of the war. After multiple displacements, he eventually settled in Deir el-Balah.
“All I want now is to return to the rubble of my home. Nothing else matters,” Mahmoud said as he gazed towards the checkpoint. “I’ll stay here until I’m allowed through.”
“Just reaching this area has brought me back to life. I miss Gaza’s air,” Mahmoud said. “Our journey during the war was one of hardship after hardship. Enough of this hell.”
