I had a “Love Letter” attached to the offer I just accepted on my house, cute kid pictures and all. I wanted to barf. “When we saw your lovely home on line we thought ’Could this be our forever home, right where we dreamed of living?!’” And “Our daughter will finally be able to have the backyard trampoline she’s been begging for and we can have the garden we’ve dreamed of for years!”.
Yeah. I facebook stalked her and she’s from a town that’s probably at least 2 income levels higher than here, so don’t give me ‘where we’ve always dreamed of living’. Nobody dreams of living here: We live here because its what we can afford and it’s not a total crap-hole. The upstairs windows have a lovely view of the warehouses behind the house across the street. Stellar location. Good luck with the trampoline, too. Did you even look at the back yard?? Its 20 feet deep by 40 feet wide and slopes 4 feet to the back lot line. Your daughter will launch her ass onto the neighbor’s patio on the first bounce, if she doesn’t get tangled in the pear tree on the way. You can have a trampoline, or a garden, but not both, and neither if you keep the tree. The house is what it is: an early 70s attached bilevel in a no-better-than-OK neighborhood with all-right schools and scarce parking, and neighbors who occasionally use their lawns for car storage. I hate to tell you, Karen, but I accepted your offer because it was $5,000 over list with no contingencies. That, not your Love Letter, is why you’ll be stenciling Live, Love, Laugh on my dining room wall before July 4th.
Thank you, Reddit for allowing me to vent that before I said anything that would fudge the sale.
Hopefully all the eye rolling won’t do any permanent damage.