Love may be blind, but political differences can still be a deal-breaker.
Such was the case for two contestants on season 8 of Netflix’s popular reality show “Love Is Blind.” Contestants Sara Carton and Virginia Miller shocked fans during last week’s season finale when both turned down their respective matches, Ben Mezzenga and Devin Buckley.
Both women cited differences in political views as the key reasons for their reluctance, which has reignited discourse online about whether romantic relationships can thrive without political compatibility. Some viewers called out Carton and Miller for not wanting to be with their partners because they aren’t “woke.” Others praised them for staying true to their values.
In recent years, politics and dating has continued to be a hot topic, especially as the country has become more politically and culturally divided. A recent report from the Survey Center on American Life, a nonpartisan research group, found that “73% of college-educated single women would be less likely to date a Trump supporter.”
“Love Is Blind,” which this season centered on Minneapolis residents, explores whether or not people can fall in love before they ever see each other in person. In “pods,” contestants date one other, talking through a wall for hours on end, and then meet face to face only after a proposal. They then spend the next few weeks deciding whether they want to go through with the wedding, which is all documented on camera.
Until recently, the show’s storylines had largely ignored politics.
Last season, which featured Washington, D.C., couples and was filmed before the presidential election, was the first time would-be couples asked each other explicitly how they voted.
This time around, political conversations were featured even more prominently as part of Carton’s and Miller’s journeys. Their decisions proved to be flashpoints online, with conservative figures like Tomi Lahren and Laura Ingraham criticizing Carton.
“Let’s find him a nice, conservative 20-something girl,” Ingraham wrote on X, sharing Lahren’s clip of Carton and Mezzenga at the altar. “He’ll look back and laugh at this.”
Claire Fallon and Emma Gray, co-hosts of the pop culture podcast “Love To See It,” said the season was a reminder that “reality TV is a reflection of our society.”
“It is interesting how we’re seeing what’s happening in the dating market nationally right now play out repeatedly on this season,” Fallon said in the most recent episode of the podcast. “It’s like how are we supposed to settle down and get married if all of our options are people who are so opposed to the politics that matter to us?”
During the “pods,” Carton, a 29-year-old oncology nurse, told many of her suitors that her sister is a lesbian. Carton said she looks for a partner who believes in LGBTQ rights. She also asked some about their views on the Black Lives Matter movement, sharing that she got more engaged in social issues after the murder of George Floyd in her home city.
Her match, Ben Mezzenga, a 28-year-old developer, said that he goes to church often but that he has “no discomfort around that community at all,” referring to LGBTQ people. He said he was “ignorant” about politics and the BLM movement.
In real life, after their engagement but before the wedding, Mezzenga is seen meeting Carton’s sister. Her sister appears hesitant that the two are made for each other. Carton also goes to church with Mezzenga to learn more about his beliefs and perspective.
Ultimately, at the altar, Carton turned Mezzenga down. “Ben, I love you so much,” she told him. “But I’ve always wanted a partner to be on the same wavelength. So today, I can’t.”
She tells her mom and sister after she leaves the ceremony that she worried that there was “no curiosity coming from his side.”
“I asked him about Black Lives Matter,” she said. “And I’m no expert, but when I asked him about it, he’s like, ‘I guess I never really thought too much about it.’ That affected me.”
Mezzenga is seen praying with his friends after Carton rejects him. During the reunion, he touched on Carton’s reasons for saying no.
“I knew coming into this experience I definitely have had privilege in my life, and it’s something I wasn’t proud of and something I knew I needed to grow. And then coming into this I knew it was important to Sara in the pods. And so I wanted to be vulnerable and be like, ‘Hey, I haven’t given it much thought.’
“You know, I’m embarrassed the way that our conversation had gone at the beginning there, but then we had great conversations about it,” he said. “So there’s just a definite impact on me, and I have Sara to thank for that. I know it’s kind of sad that it took someone to make me think that way.”
Carton said that the two tried to date after the show wrapped to see whether they could make things work but that Mezzenga stopped talking to her until he eventually “sent scripted apologies.”
Meanwhile, Miller, a 34-year-old health care recruiter, and Buckley, a 29-year-old youth director and coach, had largely avoided talking politics until the 10th episode of the season, when they shared a candid on-camera conversation.
Buckley said he wasn’t “super big into politics” and noted that his family typically has conservative views. Miller said that she didn’t mind if the two shared different political opinions but that it would be “kind of alarming” if he was “way on the other side of the spectrum” on political issues that matter to her.
At the altar, Buckley said, “I do,” but Miller said, “I love you so much, but I’m just not ready.” In her confessional during the finale, she mentioned politics but didn’t elaborate further — until the reunion episode that aired Sunday.
“Devin told me a lot about his core values, something that he did not want to talk about on camera,” Miller said. “I still to this day don’t feel really comfortable telling you Devin’s views. But I will be very clear about mine. I 100% support the LGBTQ community. I also believe that women should have the decision to choose if they want to have an abortion or not. I also believe different religions should be valued. … These were really important things to me.”
Buckley, in response, said that in a relationship he can “look past certain things.”
“I think that you can be together and have a relationship and not completely agree on everything,” he said. “And I think a big thing for me, as a Christian, is to love everyone, regardless of how I feel about something.”
