With the Greater Sydney singles bubble officially kicking off today, people around the area are sliding into their regular roots’ DMs and sussing out who will be their ride or die for the rest of this lockdown period.
For some of us (yours truly), we’re still struggling to decide who to choose. For others, at least according to an ad on Airtasker, they’ve not only found their lockdown lover but desperately needing the essential items required for their lockdown lover activities.
In an Airtasker ad shared on the subreddit CoronavirusDownunder, a couple in Leichhardt is requesting “some essential items to survive this never-ending lockdown.” And, what exactly are those essential items, you might ask? Well, some lube, condoms, and lemonade. Duh.
You know what they say: it ain’t a party without lemonade. Keep it breezy and lemon squeezy, but also well lubricated and protected, I say.
“Because we are too refreshed, we can’t get behind the wheel but still need some essential items to survive this never-ending lockdown,” they wrote in the job description.
“Please purchase the following items from any supermarket and we will pay you a $30 delivery fee and of course pay for the items.”
Said items are listed, along with their approximate pricing, in the ad. They include “LifeStyles Luke Silicone Lubricant, approximately $10[;] Durex Naturals Intimate Gel Moisturising Lubricant, approximately $14[; and] Schweppes Lemonade two litres, approximately $2.15.
“This job needs to be completed ASAP!”
Like me, Reddit naturally has a lot of questions here. What do they plan on mixing the lemonade with? What are they going to do with the lemonade bottle when they’re done with it? How can they afford a slip-and-slide in Sydney’s Inner-West? Much to think about really.
Either way, while it’s a hard situation to be in right now, at least the pair are being safe about things. To quote that Bugs Bunny meme: I wish all couples in lockdown who desperately need lube, condoms, and lemonade delivered to their door ASAP, a good fuck sesh.
The Airtasker ad has seemingly been taken down (or the goods were successfully delivered) but you can read all the best reactions to it here.