The encounter outside the church is an act of fate you have to take on faith. Homer and Maggie are saved by someone whose beliefs are not like the “part time protestants” who “sleep through mass,” Fat Tony is not just an attender, but a knowledgeable believer. He knows in his heart, without a shred of doubt, that Mary, the sacred mother, was the only woman in history who had the oogotz to claim she was a virgin and the mother of God.
Fat Tony also knows about St. Lucia, and not only where his money is laundered. Every line is gold in this. You want to kiss his ring when he calls Maggie a cute little bambino. And when the FBI gets the whole thing on tape it again pierces through mere reference to brilliant satire. But it is very revealing how much he takes his obligation to Maggie seriously. He “made a promise to God, and that’s his only boss except that guy in Kansas City.”
The script, by Elisabeth Kiernan Averick, is nuanced, and overcrowded with both easy gags, and insanely original ones. “I broke out of prison for this,” a henchman says as he buries a soiled diaper. And that burial is as detailed, executed, and animated as Tommy’s interments in Goodfellas. When one of the gang has to obfuscate the already cryptic gangland language because there is a baby present, he says “how about we give him a boo-boo to the brain and he goes night-night forever,” and even that is too much for Tony, who demands to know “You give the kiss of death with that mouth?” Seriously, every line is great, and the turnarounds like “going into a legitimate legitimate business” are sublime.
The Godfather is a family film. It is about two families, criminal and related. The Simpsons is a family show. They are criminally related. So, when Fat Tony tries to actually go legit, based on his unabashed duty to little Maggie, it is a family business. His Bambino maternity-wear store is family-friendly, and not just to the family, but to every family. Except the Branzinosa family, which is a capper, but thrown off because it comes almost as an afterthought to what was building to a truly revealing and sweet scene. It doubles the laugh because it throws it away.
As diirected by Timothy Bailey, Maggie’s acclamation to life as a mafia princess is subtle, funny and a little too dangerous for preschool. But some of the lines in Fat Tony’s nursery rhymes are too on-the-twisted-nose. “Let me hotwire you a car,” “you’ll be my little alibi,” “I will change the plates, I know a guy,” are all amazing coming out of Joe Mantegna’s mouth. Fat Tony is one of the best of the smaller characters on the show, and so much of that is because of this characterization. Although, to be honest, the show has also given a very interesting arc to the least likely of his crew, Johnny Tightlips, here a betrayer, but for what, for him, are good reasons. This episode takes the time to think out all the angles.
Also, some of the smallest details, not having to do with mob double-talk, are brilliant plays on a gangland reality. Fat Tony gifts Maggie with a Ferrari ProtectoRossa car chair, and the SUV he leases in Marge’s name has a built-in humidor and a GPS that doesn’t think it’s better than you. The gangland assassination at the “Itchy and Scratchy Christmas On Ice” is as far away from The Godfather as possible.