Hilarious TripAdvisor reviews of Dominic Raab’s hotel in Crete have been doing the rounds on social media.
The luxury Greek resort played host to the foreign secretary as the situation in Afghanistan deteriorated, resulting in calls for him to resign his position.
The Amirandes Hotel boasts its own private beach and ‘one of the biggest pools you’ll ever see,’ according to its website.
It fails to mention, however, that the sea can close to visitors from time to time.
The boutique hotel has been hit by a slew of spoof TripAdvisor reviews – since deleted – after the foreign secretary got into hot water at home over his handling of the international crisis.
One troll, who amusingly gave their name as Dom R, gave the plush Amirandes Hotel a five-star rating, before writing: “I hadn’t quite understood the full extent of getting away from it all until now.
“Quite honestly, there could be a war going on outside, and you’d barely notice it. Bliss!
“P.S Terrible mobile signal on the beach but suited me just fine.”
Hilariously, the hotel’s general manager Vassilis Minadakis appears to have been duped by the bogus review.
He replied: “Dear Dom, Thank you very much for taking the time to write us a review about your recent stay on TripAdvisor. We are very happy to read that you enjoyed your time with us in order for you to relax and escape from everyday life.
“We hope to welcome you again soon in our resort and wish you a nice remaining summer.”
“Too busy working to relax”
Another troll, Lan, gave the hotel just three stars, quipping: “Too busy working to relax”.
They added: “As a very important minister of a very important island nation off the coast of north Europe I obviously have to conceal my identity by writing under a pseudonym.
“Far from being able to relax and enjoy the amenities of this excellent hotel I was stuck in my room on the phone 24/7 coordinating evacuation efforts required by a major unfolding international crisis.
“Some uncharitable people have been saying I was lounging on the beach as the situation rapidly deteriorated.
“Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is I suddenly remembered I had left my water wings on the beach after my regular 6am swim before starting work and merely rushed down to retrieve them.
“My friend Boris will back me up on this.”
“For a friend”
In another three star review, entitled ‘for a friend’, Nicholas stated: “My pal Dom came here recently.
“He is a busy foreign secretary of an independent island nation with a great history and, according to him, a great future.
“He was planning to relax and take things easy but got completely overwhelmed by the NATO evacuations from Afghanistan which he was completely taken by surprise despite being the foreign secretary of a NATO member.
“Nevertheless, Dom’s stay was excellent. He was rarely distracted or disturbed and he had time to completely download from work.
“He relaxed so much that he overlooked the abject failure of U.K. foreign policy that had occured during his stay – 100 per cent relax, 100 per cent foreign policy failure.”
Related: Pasties off the menu as Greggs becomes latest chain to be hit by supply chain issues
Since you are here
Since you are here, we wanted to ask for your help.
Journalism in Britain is under threat. The government is becoming increasingly authoritarian and our media is run by a handful of billionaires, most of whom reside overseas and all of them have strong political allegiances and financial motivations.
Our mission is to hold the powerful to account. It is vital that free media is allowed to exist to expose hypocrisy, corruption, wrongdoing and abuse of power. But we can’t do it without you.
If you can afford to contribute a small donation to the site it will help us to continue our work in the best interests of the public. We only ask you to donate what you can afford, with an option to cancel your subscription at any point.
To donate or subscribe to The London Economic, click here.
The TLE shop is also now open, with all profits going to supporting our work.
The shop can be found here.
You can also SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER .