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Over the last few years, I’ve had the privilege of working with several CEOs during some of the most transformative periods of their careers. From first-time CEOs to those leading organizations through major transactions, turning struggling companies around, scaling startups into unicorns and stepping into leadership roles after replacing a founder-CEO — the transitions are immense. But one thing I continue to marvel at is their ability to hold tension.
To me, these leaders are like giant containers. They carry so much on their shoulders, balancing responsibilities across multiple spheres of their lives. And often, they do so with remarkable resilience and poise.
These leaders hold energy — energy of passion, resilience, perseverance and love. It’s the energy that fuels their daily decisions, the direction they set for their teams and the inspiration they bring to their organizations. A CEO’s container is filled with care for people, passion for impact, enthusiasm for creating a better future, accountability for getting things done, the role of translating an invisible North Star and holding immense tension from their board, investors, leadership teams, economic shifts and personal roles like being fathers, mothers, sons and daughters.
What these leaders hold within them is nothing short of extraordinary. But while they are often incredible givers of energy — providing praise, making decisions, offering direction and guiding others — they often struggle to receive the same energy in return. This is where the paradox lies.
Related: How Learning to Take Care of Myself Helps Me Take Care of My Business
The paradox of leadership and the challenge of receiving energy
The truth is, being a great giver doesn’t necessarily make you a great receiver. Many CEOs, despite their leadership prowess, struggle to fill their own cup. They give and give — whether it’s to their teams, boards or families — but rarely do they take the time to refill their own energy reserves.
As a result, their container begins to run on empty. They begin to hope that someone will offer them the energy they need to carry on. But often, the reality is starkly different. It’s lonely at the top.
When CEOs reach the highest echelons of leadership, there are fewer places for them to turn for support. It can feel like the energy they give out doesn’t always come back in the same way. The people they lead might not be in a position to offer the same level of guidance, recognition or emotional replenishment.
This struggle is not unique to CEOs. In fact, Harvard Business Review notes that many managers feel overwhelmed by the pressures of leadership and emphasize how crucial it is for leaders to prioritize their own well-being to avoid burnout.
How to refill your leadership energy with a simple exercise
This is where my role as a coach comes in. I help leaders stop outsourcing their power by expecting others to fill their cups. Through a simple yet powerful exercise, I guide them to become the source of their own energy.
Here’s the practice I recommend to CEOs who are feeling drained:
- Every morning before you start your day, write two sentences to yourself in a loving, supportive voice. These can be words you wish your father, mother, board or any other authority figure would say to you. What do you wish someone would say to you today in a loving and caring manner? Think of it as self-validation and encouragement to start the day.
- Do this consistently every day. Build the habit of filling your own cup with positive, supportive words that come from within.
- Do this when you are feeling good, but especially when you are feeling low. Leadership is full of ups and downs, but regardless of where you are, it’s important to nurture yourself.
- Sit with these words consciously. Allow the impact of the words to resonate in your nervous system, creating a sense of calm, strength and renewal.
This simple exercise is a form of self-care and self-love. And trust me, it won’t soften your leadership edge — it will only strengthen it. By filling your cup with compassion for yourself, you’ll be able to hold more compassion for others.
Related: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish — It’s Essential
How your energy sets the tone for your organization
As a leader, the energy you radiate sets the tone for your organization. The world follows your example in how you treat yourself. If you neglect to refill your own cup, others will notice, and it can begin to erode the trust and effectiveness you have with your team.
By taking time to nurture and recharge yourself, you not only become more resilient and effective in your leadership, but you also model the importance of self-care for those you lead. After all, leadership isn’t just about managing others — it’s about taking care of yourself so you can show up as the best version of yourself.
So, I ask you — CEO or not — how full is your container today? What can you do to begin refilling it? Start with this simple practice and allow it to work wonders in your leadership, your life and your impact on the world.
