DEAR DEIDRE: We’ve been trying for a baby for six months, but my boyfriend and I still don’t live together.
Although I love him, he doesn’t satisfy me in bed and I sometimes fantasise about sleeping with other guys.
I’m 28 and he’s 32. We’ve been together for two years.
I’ve always known I want kids and he said he did too. When he agreed to start trying, I imagined we’d move in together so we could have a proper home for our family.
But that hasn’t happened. He doesn’t even want to talk about it – he always changes the subject.
He says it will happen when the time is right. But surely if he wants a baby with me, that time is now?
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Sex with him has never been brilliant – he rushes it and he doesn’t make me orgasm like past boyfriends.
However, it’s got worse since we’ve been attempting to get pregnant, as it feels like a chore.
Sometimes I even wonder if I’m not getting pregnant because we’re not sexually compatible.
I know sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship. He’s kind, funny and intelligent, and I’m sure he’ll make a great dad.
But lately, I’ve been checking out other guys and imagining what it would be like to have sex with them – even though I’d never cheat.
DEIDRE SAYS: No, sex isn’t everything but it is an important part of a relationship, and if you’re unhappy now, it’s only likely to get worse after you’ve had a baby.
You’ll either end up feeling extremely resentful or cheating.
Once you have a child, you’ll be tied to him forever. Splitting later would have a big impact on your child.
So perhaps you need to stop trying to conceive, and sort out your relationship first.
Ask him to be honest with you about why he won’t discuss moving in together. You could say you won’t try for a baby until you have your own place.
Question his commitment to you and to a potential baby.
Ask yourself if he’s really the right man for you.
As for your sex life, show and tell him what you like in bed and see if things improve.
Read my support pack, How To Thrill A Woman In Bed, and pass on some tips.
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