CHILDREN are known to push the barriers, or maybe take things further then they should – it is all part of growing up.
But it is worth thinking twice before you tell them off, or use any throw away comments as it might be something that sticks with them for the rest of their life.
Parents have taken to Quora, a Q&A website to share some of the most psychologically damaging things their own parents said to them when they were kids.
And surprisingly there were little things that many parents may be guilty of unconsciously doing.
One user named Stephanie Unson listed some of the troubling phrases her parents said when she was growing up.
It included “stop being so sensitive”, “you’ll understand when you have kids one day” and “don’t be a burden?”.
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She claims her parents would say this to her before she was sent off on activities or chores.
Stephanie then went on to share that whenever she asked for help, her mum would respond with “NOW what did you do?”
And she wasn’t the only parent to express their thoughts.
Luke Meier, a single father-of-three, argued that any words which “completely demean his or her efforts and talents” have now become the most damaging for him.
He says there is a list of things you shouldn’t say to children, “especially if uttered while the child is trying to impress you or receive praise.”
Luke also added how if a child is learning to play the violin and a parent constantly tells them to “shut that thing off” so they can watch TV, the kid will never forget that.
‘What do you want?’
The dad continues: “The most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child is a lie that they find out later was not true. If this pattern repeats enough times, it will be very psychologically damaging.”
While David Hunter believes it’s not actually about the words you say, it’s how you say it that matters.
He said: “Children are very sensitive to inflection and mood in parental delivery. Probably more so than they are sensitive to content.”
Karl Ngantcha added that saying nothing at all is the most psychologically damaging thing you can do to a child.
The most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child is a lie that they find out later was not true
Luke Meier
He said: “By nothing I mean not talking, communicating or interacting with your child at all.
“As young as a few months, children depend on daily interaction with their mother or father.”
Many parents also agreed that you should never belittle your child or make fun of their pain.
Others also warned not to compare your child to their siblings or friends and not to bring up their personal failures in front of relatives, so as not to embarrass the child.
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