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Conversations in my childhood home often unfolded in unexpected ways. My parents were American Sign Language teachers, and our family regularly hosted deaf international students. In our living room, people didn’t sit around talking at each other. The absence of a shared spoken language forced them to collaborate with each other to communicate.
Our guests were masters of conversation, bonding through their generous efforts to connect. They taught me the importance of listening deeply, observing carefully and adapting in real-time — skills I still value highly as the CEO of a global entertainment technology company.
Yet, over the last several decades, we’ve witnessed a decline in the art of conversation in the workplace, to our detriment.
The paradox of this change is now coming into focus: New technologies and shifting corporate attitudes have pushed businesses toward greater “efficiency.” Yet research has shown that stripping the human and physical element from many of our interactions has had unintended and counter-productive consequences on our ability to build cohesive and flourishing teams.
It’s time to acknowledge that the “soft skills” of effective discourse aren’t soft at all; they’re essential to cultivating a thriving business. The good news is that conversational skills can be learned and fine-tuned.
Related: 3 Ways to Make Memorable Small Talk That Gets People Interested
What’s on the line
Email. Slack. Zoom. Digital communications have allowed us to serve far-flung clients, work remotely and instantaneously transfer data.
The results? The pace of business has accelerated, along with the universal expectation of efficiency. But we’ve also grown increasingly wary of face-to-face interactions. In one poll, for instance, 65% of Gen Z workers admitted they didn’t know how to interact with their colleagues. On the other hand, older generations who grew their communication skills and work relationships mostly through in-person conversations sometimes struggle to adjust to collaboration in exclusively digital environments.
These factors have culminated in an ever-more transactional world, with corporate communication often reduced to a singular purpose: extracting what we want from others as rapidly as possible.
This approach leaves a lot on the table; a successful business is about more than speed. Transactional emails alone don’t produce the highly functional workplaces and enduring client relationships that underpin strong, resilient companies.
Robust and thoughtful conversations that bridge the gap between generational communication styles and build social capital can.
For instance, meaningful exchanges between colleagues foster more cohesive and trusting teams who understand the context and “why” of their work and shared alignment of goals and values. The ability to offer and receive honest, constructive feedback helps employees grow their skills and boost engagement. Evidence shows that those who feel engaged with their work are 2.5 times more likely to stay, generating and sharing institutional knowledge that contributes to a company’s long-term stability.
In other words, it can pay large dividends to help employees communicate more effectively.
Fostering artful conversation
As a more reserved person by nature, I know it isn’t necessary to be a bubbly extrovert to become a more effective conversationalist. It’s about intentionality. Here are four ways to model and cultivate deeper conversations in the workplace.
- Facilitate opportunities for in-person conversations. We’ve probably all seen memes criticizing meetings that could have been emails. One company even introduced a special calculator to highlight the cost of getting together. But sometimes, orchestrating occasions for more personal interaction means rejecting those calls for efficiency. Why not turn that email into a meeting now and then to build rapport?
There are creative ways to double down on this approach, as well. For example, if you’re all headed to an off-site meeting, try encouraging carpooling to allow space for casual conversation. And while it’s unrealistic to make every client meeting face-to-face, it can be worth it to engage in real life when you’re first getting to know each other or working through a challenging situation.
- Prep for connection. Navigating a conversation with someone you don’t know well is a bit like fishing. You cast a question and see if it grabs their interest. If they don’t bite, you cast another. You keep trying until you find a subject of mutual interest that sparks a compelling interaction. This process might sound intimidating if it doesn’t come naturally, but a little preparation can make it painless.
Always keep some general-interest conversation starters in your back pocket: sports news, current events, cultural happenings around the city — fresh hooks for your fishing line. Any type of relationship grows through discovering common ground.
- Enter every interaction with positive intentions and an open mind. Years ago, my then-boss and I were facing a contentious client meeting. As we all tensely assembled, my boss cracked a joke. Everyone laughed. The meeting wasn’t easy, but he’d managed to disarm us at the jump, reminding us we were all human, harbored no ill-will and shared the goal of reaching a resolution.
In negotiating a client issue or delivering employee feedback, demonstrating that you’re coming to the conversation to improve the situation or relationship can make an enormous difference in the direction of the interaction.
- Be observant, receptive and adaptive. As I learned from the students visiting my childhood home, a conversation is a collaborative effort.
My company developed our own version of a “courageous conversations” initiative to teach our teams how to listen actively and with curiosity, then respectfully respond to all ideas to encourage dissenting opinions and healthily manage conflict. Since then, we’ve seen an increase in these types of impactful conversations throughout the organization.
Related: How To Become A Great Conversationalist
Decentralized work and the technology that makes it possible are here to stay. The rise of AI may send us even deeper into our devices. That’s why it’s crucial to reflect on the value of effective conversation and to nurture those skills.
A truly efficient business isn’t one built on purely transactional communication geared toward the short-term; it’s one that grows a stable and trusting workforce who make clients feel heard and fosters connection over the longer term — conditions met only through artful conversation.
Conversations in my childhood home often unfolded in unexpected ways. My parents were American Sign Language teachers, and our family regularly hosted deaf international students. In our living room, people didn’t sit around talking at each other. The absence of a shared spoken language forced them to collaborate with each other to communicate.
Our guests were masters of conversation, bonding through their generous efforts to connect. They taught me the importance of listening deeply, observing carefully and adapting in real-time — skills I still value highly as the CEO of a global entertainment technology company.
Yet, over the last several decades, we’ve witnessed a decline in the art of conversation in the workplace, to our detriment.
The paradox of this change is now coming into focus: New technologies and shifting corporate attitudes have pushed businesses toward greater “efficiency.” Yet research has shown that stripping the human and physical element from many of our interactions has had unintended and counter-productive consequences on our ability to build cohesive and flourishing teams.
It’s time to acknowledge that the “soft skills” of effective discourse aren’t soft at all; they’re essential to cultivating a thriving business. The good news is that conversational skills can be learned and fine-tuned.
Related: 3 Ways to Make Memorable Small Talk That Gets People Interested
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