In the first three episodes of Apple TV’s The Me You Can’t See, the royal addressed traumatic memories from his childhood including the moment he was famously photographed with his brother, father, uncle and grandfather walking behind Diana’s coffin at her funeral.
Prince Harry walks behind the coffin of his mother in 1997
/ PA Archive
“For me the thing I remember the most was the sound of the horses’ hooves going along the Mall,” the 36-year-old told his series co-host Oprah Winfrey.
“It was like I was outside of my body and just walking along doing what was expected of me. (I was) showing one tenth of the emotion that everybody else was showing: This was my mum – you never even met her.”
The series focuses on mental health, with Harry telling Winfrey the trauma of the loss caused him to suffer anxiety and severe panic attacks from ages 28 to 32.
“I was just all over the place mentally,” he said.
Prince Harry: The Duke of Sussex – In pictures
2019
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, pose with their newborn son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor during a photocall in St George’s Hall at Windsor Castle on May 8, 2019
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2018
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle kiss on the steps of St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle after their wedding in St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle in Windsor
PA
2014
Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, Prince Harry and Prince Charles, Prince of Wales look at a mobile phone as they watch the athletics at Lee Valley Track during the Invictus Games on September 11, 2014 in London
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1990
Princes William and Harry with Diana starting a new term atWetherby School, Notting Hill Gate
Daily Mail
1993
Prince Harry aged 8 years old in a tank watching a mock battle during a visit to the Light Dragoons in Hannover, Germany
Jeremy Selwyn
1993
Prince Harry aged 8 years old watching a mock battle during a visit to the Light Dragoons in Hannover, Germany
1995
The Prince and Princess of Wales with sons Prince William and Prince Harry, attending the VJ Day commemorations at Buckingham Palace
PA
1997
Prince Charles (R), former husband of Diana, their two sons, Harry (C) and William follow the hearse in a Limousine as the coffin of Princess of Wales, makes its way from Saint James’s Palace to Kensington Palace, Diana’s former home, 05 September in London on the eve of her funeral. Some 2 million people are expected to line the route of the funeral procession
AFP/Getty Images
1997
The funeral of Princess Diana
Jeremy Selwyn
2001
Prince Harry takes part in an exhibition Polo match July 28, 2001 at Cirencester Park Polo Club in Gloucestershire
Getty Images
2002
Prince Harry walks behind the Gun Carriage bearing the coffin of the Queen Mother April 9, 2002 as it makes its way to Westminster Abbey during her state funeral April 9, 2002 in London
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2002
Prince Harry (L) and Prince William attend a service of Thanksgiving to celebrate The Queen’s Golden Jubilee 04 June 2002, at St Paul’s Cathedral in London
AFP/Getty Images
2002
Prince Charles (C) poses for a photograph with his sons Prince William (R) and Prince Harry during their annual skiing holiday in the Swiss alps March 29, 2002 in the village of Klosters, Switzerland
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2003
Prince Harry, the younger son of the Prince of Wales, takes part in March 2003 at Eton College in the Wall Game between Dr Gailey’s Old Boys against The Mixed Wall – the top school team. His brother, Prince William (right) is playing for the Old Boys
AFP/Getty Images
2003
The youngest son of the Prince of Wales, Prince Harry poses next to a bronze statue of Perseus holding the Gorgon’s head on May 12, 2003 in the King of Siam’s Gardens at Eton College
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2003
Prince Harry at Eton College
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2003
Prince Harry and England captain Martin Johnson celebrate in the dressing rooms after England’s win in the Rugby World Cup Final match between Australia and England at Telstra Stadium November 22, 2003 in Sydney, Australia
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2003
Prince William (L) and brother Prince Harry (R) wait to receive their prizes at the end of the Calcot Manor Hotel polo cup on June 22, 2003 at Tetbury, Gloucestershire
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2004
Prince Harry takes part in a command task exercise at the British Army’s Regular Commissions Board (RCB) held over four days at Westbury September 24, 2004 in Sandhurst, Wiltshire, England
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2004
A very somber and reflective looking Prince William and Prince Harry at the opening of the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain, Hyde Park
Associated Newspapers
2005
Laura Parker Bowles, Prince Harry and Prince William following the Civil Ceremony following the marriage between HRH Prince Charles and Mrs Camilla Parker Bowles, at The Guildhall, Windsor on April 9, 2005 in Berkshire, England
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2005
Prince Harry plays polo for HSBS against Virginia State polo at Cirencester Park Polo Club on July 30, 2005 in Cirencester, England
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2005
Prince Charles, Princess Camilla and Prince Harry watch poppies dropped from a Lancaster bombe as she stands next to Prince Andrew on the balcony of Buckingham Palace during the celebrations marking the end of World War II in London 10 July 2005
AFP/Getty Images
2006
The Duke of Edinburgh speaks to Prince William and Prince Harry at Sandhurst Royal Military Academy after The Sovereign’s Parade that marked the completion of Prince Harry’s Officer training
PA
2006
Prince Harry in action during his training at Sandhurst Military Academy, issued on January 25, 2006, England
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2007
Prince Harry joins Rhino Conservation Botswana on operation to tag and protect rhinos
Rhino Conservation Botswana
2007
HRH Prince William and Prince Harry arrive at the Cavalry Old Comrades Association Annual Parade in Hyde Park on May 13, 2007 in London
Getty Images
2008
Prince Harry and his girlfriend Chelsy Davy laughing before the Investec Challenge international rugby match South Africa vs. England in Twickenham, west London, on November 22, 2008
AFP/Getty Images
2008
Prince Harry practices his rugby skills with members of the crew of his Spartan armoured vehicle on February 20, 2008 during a break in their duties in the desert of Helmand province in Southern Afghanistan
AFP/Getty Images
2008
Prince Harry joins more than 200 sailors, soldiers and Royal Marines, and Airmen of 52 Infantry Brigade, as they parade along the Royal Mile before attending a private Memorial and Thanksgiving Service at St Giles Cathedral in Edinburgh, in Scotland, on June 18, 2008, to honour those who lost their lives in Afghanistan
AFP/Getty Images
2008
Prince Harry takes part in a ‘Kick for Life’ program to raise awareness of HIV/AIDS on July 8, 2008 in Buthe Buthe, Lesotho
Getty Images
2007
Prince Harry says goodbye to guests at the guards chapel after a thanksgiving service for the life of Diana, Princess of Wales
Jeremy Selwyn
2009
Prince William and Prince Harry pose in front of a Griffin helicopter during a photocall at RAF Shawbury on June 18, 2009 in Shawbury, England
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2010
Prince Harry and Prince William (R) hold an African rock python during a visit to Mokolodi Education Centre on June 15, 2010 in Gaborone, Botswana
Getty Images
2010
Prince Harry pitches the first ball before the New York Mets play the Minnesota Twins, at Citi Field on June 26, 2010 in New York,
Getty Images
2010
Prince Harry struggles with his klaxon horn while attending the opening of the Royal British Legion Wootton Bassett Field of Remembrance in Lydiard Park on November 9, 2010 in Wootton Basset
Getty Images
2011
Prince Harry, joining the Walking with the Wounded expedition team, tries out an immersion suit on the island of Spitsbergen, situated between the Norwegian mainland and the North Pole, during the last days of preparation before setting off to the North Pole on foot, on March 30, 2011 in Spitsbergen, Norway
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2011
Prince William takes the hand of his bride Catherine Middleton, now to be known as Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, followed by Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton as they walk down the aisle inside Westminster Abbey on April 29, 2011 in London, England
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2011
Best man Prince Harry and Maid of Honour Pippa Middleton on the balcony at Buckingham Palace after the Royal Wedding of Prince William to Catherine Middleton on April 29, 2011 in London, England
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2012
Prince Harry poses with Usain Bolt at the Usain Bolt Track at the University of the West Indies on March 6, 2012 in Kingston, Jamaica. Prince Harry is in Jamaica as part of a Diamond Jubilee Tour, representing Queen Elizabeth II, taking in Belize, the Bahamas, Jamaica and Brazil
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2012
Prince Harry races out from the VHR (very high ready-ness) tent to scramble his Apache with fellow pilots, during his 12 hour shift at the British controlled flight-line in Camp Bastion on November 3, 2012 in Afghanistan
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2014
Prince Harry cooks with children during a visit to the Thuso Centre for children living with multiple disabilities on December 7, 2014 in Bute-Bute, Lesotho
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2014
Prince Harry gives a speech at the media launch for the Invictus Games 2014 at the Copper Box Arena in the Olympic Park in London
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2014
Prince Harry shows children a photograph he has taken on a Fuji X100s Camera during a visit to a herd boy night school constructed by Sentebale on December 8, 2014 in Mokhotlong, Lesotho
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2015
Prince Harry meets Daphne Dunne (wearing her husbands Victoria Cross) during a walkabout outside the Sydney Opera House on May 7, 2015 in Sydney, Australia
Chris Jackson/Getty Images
2015
The moment that Prince Harry is reunited with Mutsu aged 15yrs in November 2015. Mutsu is a local teenager who the Prince met on his first visit to Lesotho, and with whom he has since remained in regular contact
Big Earth Productions/ITV
2015
Prince Harry and Prince Phillip enjoy the atmosphere during the 2015 Rugby World Cup Final match between New Zealand and Australia at Twickenham Stadium on October 31, 2015
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2015
Prince Harry greets members of the public outside the Australian War Memorial on April 6, 2015 in Canberra, Australia
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2015
Prince George of Cambridge is held by Prince William, Duke of Cambridge as Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, Prince Harry and Queen Elizabeth II look out on the balcony of Buckingham Palace during the Trooping the Colour on June 13, 2015
Getty Images
2016
Prince Harry with the Invictus team at Buckingham Palace
Jeremy Selwyn
2016
Prince Harry at Buckingham Palace in London at the unveiling of the UK team for the Invictus Games
Jeremy Selwyn
2016
Prince Harry boxing
Jeremy Selwyn
2016
Prince Harry watches as Singer Rihanna gets her blood sample taken for an live HIV test, in order to promote more widespread testing for the public at the ‘Man Aware’ event held by the Barbados National HIV/AIDS Commission on the eleventh day of an official visit on December 1, 2016 in Bridgetown, Barbados
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2016
Prince Harry helped with one of the largest elephant translocations in conservation history
African Parks via PA
2016
Prince Harry is given garlands and flowers as he visits Gauda Secondary School, an earthquake-damaged school being reconstructed with assistance from the Gurkha Welfare Scheme, in the Himalayan village of Okhari on day four of his visit to Nepal on March 22, 2016 in Okhari, Nepal
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2016
Prince Harry tires a London Air Ambulance Operation Game as he joins City brokers at ICAP and celebrities from the world of sport, television and entertainment on their trading floor in the City of London for the firm’s 24th charity fundraising day
PA
2016
Prince Harry joins City brokers ICAP and celebrities from the world of sport, television and entertainment on their trading floor in the City of London for the firm’s 24th charity fundraising day
/PA
2016
Prince Harry (R) meets Chewbacca during a tour of the Star Wars sets at Pinewood studios on April 19, 2016 in Iver Heath, England
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2016
Prince Harry (L) and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge try out light sabres during a tour of the Star Wars sets at Pinewood studios on April 19, 2016 in Iver Heath, England
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2016
Prince Harry plays volleyball with local school children as he visits Gauda Secondary School, an earthquake-damaged school being reconstructed with assistance from the Gurkha Welfare Scheme, in the Himalayan village of Okhari on day four of his visit to Nepal on March 22, 2016 in Okhari, Nepa
Getty Images
2016
The Fields of Remembrance at Westminster Abbey today with Prince Harry and the Duke of Edinburgh
Jeremy Selwyn
2017
Prince Harry (with former US President Barack Obama following a meeting at Kensington Palace in London
PA
2017
Prince Harry and his girlfriend actress Meghan Markle watch the wheelchair tennis event during the Invictus Games in Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Reuters
2017
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle embrace following the polo at Cowarth Park for the Audi Polo Challenge
Rex Features
2017
The Duke of Cambridge, Prince Harry and the Duchess of Cambridge at the start line of the Virgin Money London Marathon
PA
2017
England’s Dylan Hartley (left) receives the Calcutta Cup from Prince Harry (centre) and RFU President Peter Baines (right) during the RBS Six Nations match at Twickenham Stadium, London
PA
2017
Prince Harry speaks at the Military Drumhead Service on Horse Guards Parade in London, ahead of the unveiling of a national memorial honouring the Armed Forces and civilians who served their country during the Gulf War and conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan
PA
2017
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry promoting Heads Together
2017
Prince Harry talks to children at a tea party at Buckingham Palace, London
Reuters
2017
Prince Harry plays in the Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup 2017 on June 5, 2017 in Singapore
Getty Images
2017
Prince Harry visiting a mine clearance site in Angola
PA
2017
Prince William, left, and his brother Prince Harry arrive for the wedding of Pippa Middleton and James Matthews at St Mark’s Church in Englefield
AP
2017
Prince Harry speaks to competitors during the UK team trials for the Invictus Games Toronto 2017 at the University of Bath Sports Training Village in Bath
PA
2017
Prince Harry meets Daphne Dunne (97 years old), during a walk around The Rocks district of Sydney with New South Wales Premier Gladys Berejiklian whilst promoting the 2018 Invictus games in Australia
Reuters
2017
The Duke of Cambridge (right) and Prince Harry, as they lay their wreaths during the annual Remembrance Sunday Service at the Cenotaph memorial in Whitehall, central London
PA
2017
Prince Harry smiles as he speaks to veterans as he attends the official opening ceremony of The Field of Remembrance at Westminster Abbey
AP
2017
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle together at the Prince’s Invictus Games
Getty Images
2017
Prince Harry and his girlfriend actress Meghan Markle watch the wheelchair tennis event during the Invictus Games in Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Reuters
2018
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle leave St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle after their wedding.
Reuters
2018
Britain’s Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and his wife Meghan, Duchess of Sussex wave from the Ascot Landau Carriage during their carriage procession on Castle Hill outside Windsor Castle in Windsor
Reuters
2018
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle ride in an Ascot Landau along the Long Walk after their wedding in St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle.
PA
2018
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge watch the RAF flypast on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, as members of the Royal Family attend events to mark the centenary of the RAF
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2018
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex attend a state dinner at the Royal Residence in Nuku’alofa, Tonga
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2019
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex attend a Commonwealth Day Youth Event at Canada Hous
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2019
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex arrive to attend the Commonwealth Service at Westminster Abbey on Commonwealth Day
AP
2019
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, (R) and Britain’s Meghan, Duchess of Sussex (L) attend a reception to mark the 50th Anniversary of the investiture of The Prince of Wales at Buckingham Palace in London
AFP/Getty Images
2019
Prince Harry and the Duchess of Cambridge at Westminster Abbey for the Anzac Day Service 2019
Jeremy Selwyn
2019
Prince Harry in front of the horses, apparently named George and Sir John, as he announces the birth
PA
2019
The couple during their royal tour in south Africa
Getty Images
2019
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and their baby son Archie Mountbatten-Windsor meet Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter Thandeka Tutu-Gxashe at the Desmond & Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation during their royal tour of South Africa on September 25, 2019 in Cape Town, South Africa
Getty Images
2019
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess Of Sussex have announced they are to step back as Senior Royals and say they want to divide their time between the UK and North America. LONDON, ENGLAND – NOVEMBER 11: Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex attend a service marking the centenary of WW1 armistice at Westminster Abbey on November 11, 2018 in London
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2019
Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, Britain’s Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, Britain’s Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and Britain’s Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex arrive for the Royal Family’s traditional Christmas Day service at St Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham, Norfolk
AFP via Getty Images
2019
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex depart Canada House on January 07, 2020 in London
Getty Images
2019
Prince Harry cuddles baby Archie during the family’s Christmas break
SussexRoyal
“Every time I put a suit on and tie on … having to do the role, and go, ‘right, game face’, look in the mirror and say, ‘let’s go’. Before I even left the house I was pouring with sweat. I was in fight or flight mode.”
He said: “I was willing to drink, I was willing to take drugs, I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling.”
He told Winfrey he would drink a week’s worth of alcohol on a Friday or Saturday night “not because I was enjoying it but because I was trying to mask something”.
Prince Harry and Prince William – In pictures
POOL/AFP via Getty Images
Prince Harry and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge try out light sabres during a tour of the Star Wars sets at Pinewood studios IN 2016
Getty Images
The Duchess of Cambridge, Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry take part in a relay race, during a training event to promote the charity Heads Together, at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park
AFP/Getty Images
Prince William and Prince Harry in Policemen outfits.
PA
A three year old Prince Harry receives a helping hand from his older brother Prince William on his first day at kindergarten in Chepstow Villas in 1987
PA
Prince William, (at 9 years old) with his younger brother, Prince Harry (at 7 years old) wear baseball-style caps given to them by the crew of the Canadian frigate HMCS Ottowa in 1991
PA
POOL/AFP via Getty Images
Prince Harry has asked Prince William to be his best man at his wedding to Meghan Markle
PA
Prince Harry and Prince William hold an African rock python during a visit to Mokolodi Education Centre on 15TH June 2010 in Gaborone, Botswana
Getty Images
Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, Prince Harry and Prince Charles, Prince of Wales watching the athletics at Lee Valley Track during the Invictus Games in 2014
Chris Jackson/Getty Images
Prince William and Prince Harry pose in front of a Griffin helicopter at RAF Shawbury in 2009
Getty Images
Prince William arrives with his brother Prince Harry at Westminster Abbey, London before his marriage to Kate Middleton in 2018
PA
Prince William arrives with his brother Prince Harry at Westminster Abbey, London before his marriage to Kate Middleton in 2018
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Prince William arrives with his brother Prince Harry for the wedding of Pippa Middleton
Philip Ide
HRH Prince Harry and HRH William , Duke of Cambridge sing the National Anthem during the 2015 Rugby World Cup Pool A match between England and Wales at Twickenham Stadium
Getty Images
Prince William and Prince Harry speak on stage at the Concert for Diana at Wembley Stadium in 2007
Getty Images
Prince William and Prince Harry wait to receive their prizes at the end of the Calcot Manor Hotel Polo Cup at Tetbury, Gloucestershire in 2003
Getty Images
Prince Charles with Prince Harry and Prince William follow the hearse in a Limousine as the coffin of Princess of Wales, makes its way from Saint James’s Palace to Kensington Palace
AFP/Getty Images
Prince William and Prince Harry in their school uniform with Princess Diana
Daily Mail
Prince William helps Prince Harry take his first steps
Getty Images
During the programme the duke also accused of “total neglect” when his wife Meghan was feeling suicidal amid harassment on social media.
That alleged abandonment was one of the “biggest reasons” the couple left the UK, Harry said.
“Certainly now I will never be bullied into silence,” he added.