For years, Rabbi Aryeh A. Frimer “devoured” commentaries on the Haggadah. Now he is presenting his own Haggadah, with commentaries culled from copious notes he has taken over the years.
In Departing Egypt: Passover Haggadah, he quotes a variety of sources, particularly Torah scholar and Modern Orthodox leader Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik.
Below are excerpts from Frimer’s book, chock-full of insights aimed at providing ample food for thought and discussion at the Seder.
The first extract is from his commentary on the arba imahot [four matriarchs] mentioned in the fourth verse of the beloved “Echad Mi Yodea?” (“Who Knows One?”), the Passover song performed at high speed at the end of Seders across the globe. Notably, Frimer – a Torah scholar specializing in women in Jewish law – confronts the issues of matriarchal education, gender equality, and surrogacy.
The second, shorter, excerpt contains the author’s comments about the main aim of the Seder: to teach the next generation to identify as Jews and to connect them to the giving of the Torah, the exodus from Egypt, and the Land of Israel.
Rabbi Frimer’s commentary on ‘arba imahot’:
In his [eulogy] “A Tribute to the Rebbetzin of Talen” (Tradition 17:2, Spring 1978, pp.73-83), Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik links the three patriarchs with the four matriarchs, as we do here in “Echad Mi Yodea?”
He posits that we have two masorot, two traditions, two communities, and two complementary chains of transmission (shalshalot hakabbalah) – the mesora community of the fathers and that of the mothers.
Hazal [our sages] (Mechilta, cited by Rashi on Exodus 19:3) see this reflected in the verse (ibid.): “This shall you say to the House of Jacob (the women) and tell the Children of Israel (the men), similarly, the wise King Solomon counseled (Proverbs 1:8): “Hear my son, the instruction of your father (mussar avicha) and forsake not the teaching of your mother (Torat imecha).”
What is the difference between those two masorot?
Traditionally, though certainly not exclusively, it is the father who teaches his children Torah; it is, after all, his obligation (Kiddushin 29a). An individual commonly learns from one’s father how to read a text, be it the Bible, Mishna, Talmud, or Halacha, how to comprehend, how to analyze, how to conceptualize, how to classify, how to infer, how to apply, etc. …
…Father’s tradition… is identified with mussar, which is the biblical term for “discipline.”
What is the Torat imecha? What kind of Torah does the mother pass on?
At this point, Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik drew upon his personal experiences. He used to have long conversations with his mother about matters of the day. He watched her arranging the house in honor of a holiday. He used to see her recite prayers, he used to watch her recite the parasha every Friday night in a nostalgic tune. Most of all, he learned that Judaism expresses itself not only in formal compliance with the law but also in a living experience.
She taught him that there is a flavor, a scent, and a warmth to mitzvot. He learned from her the most important thing in life – to feel the presence of the Almighty… Without her teachings, which quite often were transmitted to him in silence, “I would have grown up a soulless being, dry and insensitive.”
The laws of Shabbat, for instance, were passed on to him by his father; they are part of mussar avicha. The Shabbat as a living entity, as a queen, was passed on to him by his mother; it is a part of Torat imecha. The father knew much about Shabbat, the mother lived the Shabbat, experienced her presence, and perceived her beauty and splendor. The father taught generations how to observe the Shabbat; mothers taught generations how to greet the Shabbat and how to enjoy her 24-hour presence…
Rabbi Soloveitchik further argues (Shi’urei Ha Rav, The Covenantal Community, pp. 51-53) that God’s covenant with Israel, therefore, involves man and woman. We can see this through the relationship with Abraham and Sarah – both were equal parties to the covenant with God.
In Genesis (17:18-21), Abraham asks that God pass the covenant on to Ishmael, resigning himself to remain childless with Sarah. The Almighty answers that Sarah, his wife, will bear him a child to be called Isaac, and it is only this child, the product of both Sarah and Abraham, who will be the worthy recipient of the covenant.
Ishmael cannot be the recipient of the covenant because he represented only one side of the covenant – Abraham – but not Sarah. Thus, the arba imahot and shlosha avot [three fathers] are intimately linked and pivotal in perpetuating our covenantal relationship with God…
One fundamental question that needs to be asked is: How do we know that the avot are limited to three: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and do not include the 12 sons of Jacob, [or] Moses, Aaron, or King David? Similarly, why are imahot limited to Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah – what about Bilha and Zilpa, who were also the biological mothers of four of the tribes?
Our response begins with the Talmud’s statement in Berachot (16b, see also Semachot 1:14): “The Sages taught in a baraita: One may only call three people patriarchs: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, – but not Jacob’s children. And one may only call four people matriarchs: Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.”
The Talmud continues (ibid.) that “the reason the sons of Jacob are not called the patriarchs is… because until Jacob, they are significant enough to be referred to as patriarchs but after that they are not.”
The 13th-century Italian rishon, Rabbi Isaiah di Trani (the Elder), further explains that “four matriarchs” specifically excludes Bilha and Zilpa, but he doesn’t indicate why. The Talmudic discussion cited above suggests that the two were not considered sufficiently “significant.”
Several pieces of evidence confirm this:
- Rabbi Hai Gaon confirms that the Talmud’s statement in Berachot is the reason that in Jewish tradition, we find the encomium Sarah imenu, Rivka imenu, Rachel imenu, Leah imenu, but not Bilha imeinu or Zilpa imenu.
- Sarah, Rebecca, and Leah are buried next to their husbands in the Cave of the Patriarchs, while Jacob apologized to Joseph for not doing so for his mother, Rachel. We know nothing about the burials of Bilha and Zilpa.
- The fundamental reason for their relative lack of significance is that they were shifhot – maidservants, who were given as concubines to Jacob by their mistresses Rachel and Leah for the purpose of procreation. They were never formal wives.
Rabbi Frimer on children and a fascinating Seder:
Children are encouraged to ask questions about novel rituals and to be aware of what is happening in our historical tale.
We keep them awake throughout the long evening via dialogue (the four questions), ritual (dipping the karpas, spilling the wine, and the Hillel sandwich), song (Hallel), and even games (e.g., “stealing” the afikoman).
This is because the ultimate goal of the Seder is to stimulate the children to identify with the Exodus, with Sinai, and with the Land of Israel.
As my father explained: “On Passover, a child’s senses are caught and stirred by the smells, sights, sounds, touches, and tastes of the Seder. Through such sensory stimuli, a young child is conditioned to identify with his people’s past, participate in its present, and share its dreams for a distant yet beckoning tomorrow.” (Rabbi Norman E. Frimer, Horizon, September 1970).
We want to make the Seder fascinating, stimulating, and challenging enough – so that all four children will identify as proud Jews.
Departing Egypt is available online at www.booknet.co.il.
- DEPARTING EGYPT: PASSOVER HAGGADAH
- Insights and commentary
- By Rabbi Aryeh A. Frimer
- Urim Publications
- 415 pages; NIS 120
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